As a LA Kings fan it has been a rough year. At the beginning of the season Slava Voynov was arrested for domestic violence. He was immediately suspended by the NHL, and then suspended by the team months later. Which meant the Kings had to pay his salary, and when they needed players they couldn’t afford them, like, at all. More on Voynov in a bit. Next up for the up and down Kings, they do not make the playoffs. They just completely botch the whole damn season and don’t make it into the post season. Bad news all around because two weeks later Jarrett Stoll is arrested with Molly and cocaine in his possession. Enough to sell. He pleads out to a lesser charge and does community service. Bully for him, he’s a restricted free agent so he is gone from the team before he even sees one court date. Right as he is being arraigned the news breaks that Slava Voynov has finally been suspended by the team. For sustaining an injury outside of hockey activities. Which is natural because he wasn’t allowed to play hockey. But way to set the moral high ground Kings organization! You suspend him not for beating the shit out of his wife (which he has now plead guilty for, and will be serving a 90-day sentence among other things) but for getting hurt. Thumbs. Up.

As if all that wasn’t enough to make the team more like the Oakland Raiders every day, they trade away team and fan favorite backup goalie Martin Jones for highly disregarded Boston Bruin thug Milan Lucic. Way. To. Go. I’m not done either. As the ink is drying on the Lucic trade the Kings terminate the contract of highly respected Mike Richards who had a hell of an up and down year, literally (he was sent to the minors for a short time and brought back up for the playoff push. Nice try, Kings). For two days there were all sorts of weird speculations, until they confirm that he was trying to cross the border into Canada with OxyContin on him. What. The. Fuck.

And. And. Yesterday, on free agent day, we lose Justin Williams. The fucking chillest player in the league. The man was born to be a beach bum. And he’s gone to play in our nation’s capital. Just as the dust has settled more shit hits the fan. Martin Jones, who had been a part of the Milan Lucic deal, gets dealt from Boston to San Jose. So now, not only are we meant to forget he was a beloved King, and epic bro to the dynamic duo of Toffoli and Pearson, but we have to root against him for being on the enemy team! Dude.

In my other team’s news, the Penguins did no better in adding to their team dynamics by trading away a crop of young guys for volatile and often cranky Phil Kessel and our beloved Justin Williams gets joined on the enemy of Pittsburgh’s team, the Capitals, by Olympic hero TJ Oshie, who you just cannot help but adore.

Man. Being a hockey fan is tough!

Is it October yet?