You know you’ve been on the Internet too long when you say the words in a Tumblr post before you read them. Well, I do it with movies too. I’ll say the next line, or word, before the character does. Sometimes I hope that means I am a good writer. Deep down I know it just means the scene/post is predictable and I am not some sort of savant.

THINGS THAT ARE SURPRISING

Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears have been deemed too sexy to appear on French television (at least in the daytime). Part of Niagara Falls froze over this week. Hollywood is remaking Point Break. And they think it will do well. (I suppose this should be in Things That Are Not Surprising too).

THINGS THAT ARE NOT SURPRISING

Instead of focusing on Chris Christie’s inept politics, late night hosts (and even the Daily Show and Colbert Report) are focusing on how overweight the man is. ‘Cause that has everything to do with why he is inept at politics. Stay classy America.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

Prostitution, gay marriage and health care are all legal in Canada. What heathens.

THINGS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN TWEETS

No amount of seasoned ground turkey will make your food any healthier. #nicetrythoDelTaco

GETTING REAL

The other night on Family Feud one of the final survey questions asked 100 women how long they would give a relationship before they knew he was the one. The first contestant said 6 months. I said that was way too long. The second contestant answered 1 week. I was almost on board with that. My viewing companion said 1 year. I guffawed. The #1 answer was 1 year. Obviously I know nothing about relationships. I would not stay in a relationship more than, three weeks, maybe a month? if I had not figured out he was the one. I mean, I am not saying I would jump into marriage a month into a relationship, and I am not saying it does not take time to figure out if your partner is right for you. But I don’t have the energy or the patience to wait for your ass to prove to me you’re good for me. Is that wrong?

Speaking on relationships, I have a terrible habit of assuming friendships are over (or are in jeopardy of being so) if I haven’t heard from a person in a while. And by a while I mean more than two weeks or sometimes a month depending on the person. I am not unreasonable (with friends). Most of the time that’s not the case. People get busy and lose track and all that stuff, I get it. I am bad about keeping in touch myself. I think this stems from out of the blue endings I never saw coming. So my one resolution is to not assume things are about to hit the fan just because a person got busy with life. (In other words, it isn’t all about you, Phay).